Would you agree that the hardest part is the waiting? Waiting in line at the grocery store, waiting in traffic, or waiting for medical test results can be stressful. It's a part of life. As kids, waiting for the next birthday, a driver's license, or high school graduation can feel like an eternity. As we age, the "weight" of waiting increases as we await lending approval on a first car or a first home. We wait for the results of a pregnancy test that has the power to forever change our life. Waiting is often paired with anxiety as we check the mail box every day for a college acceptance letter, as we wait to hear the words "yes" after rendering a marriage proposal, as we wait to board a roller coaster designed to simultaneously thrill and terrify us.
"Life is a journey, not the destination," Ralph Waldo Emerson reminds us, a journey that can take us toward heartache or joy.
For three years I have walked the long journey of writing a book. Two years into the process, the manuscript was complete, but it took a third year of editing to get to print production. And now I find myself waiting - waiting to see the book in print, to hold it in my hands, to agonize over the inevitable typos I'm sure I'll find. In the waiting I also find myself worrying about how the book will be received. Will there be criticism or compassion, cruel remarks or camaraderie with my readers?
Writing a book is a promise I made first to God and then to myself. It has been a long season of waiting, filled with frustration, fatigue, insecurity, delays, and many tears.
As I await the publication of my first memoir, I find myself also waiting for exploratory cancer surgery. Waiting for all the steps in the process - doctor's visits, imaging reports, lab tests, second opinions, and pathology results requires patience, faith, and a positive attitude. This is how I await the arrival of my first printed book copies - patiently preparing for a book launch, trusting God that He will bless my obedience, and hopeful that the book may bring healing to many post-abortive women and their families.
I leave you with a powerful and moving song by Hillsong Worship called "New Wine. Words and Music by Brooke Ligertwood © 2017 Hillsong Music Publishing CCLI: 7102397
"In the crushing, in the pressing, You are making new wine." Based on scripture from Matthew 9:14-16.
Waiting is indeed the hardest thing. I'm praising God for your trust in Him. Praying for you as you are in the waiting room about your health.